That's Just the Way We "Role"

Okay, so on Thursday in my Group Communication class we discussed roles that need to be filled, either consciously or subconsciously, in order to make any group work. It doesn't matter if that group is a relationship oriented group or a task oriented group, all of the roles still need to be filled. That was shocking to me. I mean, my family, both immediate and extended don't have roles....do they? I wanted to explore this a bit more so while the other groups in the class were doing their presentations I got to thinking about how our familial group really functions. The following people in my family are ordered by age only and not by any other factor:

1. Grandpa Steve- Papa really personifies the role of the group Recorder. The group Recorder keeps the records of the group and serves as the group's memory. As the patriarch of our extended family he has been around the longest and has a wealth of information as well as different stories to tell that maybe some of us weren't around for or don't remember. Without the stories and lessons learned in the past there is no way for us to move forward and evolve in the future.
2. Grandma Jocelyn- Grandma takes on the role of the Supporter. The job of the Supporter is defined as praising, agreeing and supporting the others in the group as well as going along with the ideas of others. Grandma is always very supportive of our dreams and aspirations and is often one of the first to get involved in a new activity or thing that our familial group wants to try. Without the Supporter, we would never have anyone to try out our new ideas.
3. Rob- My daddy is the Team Observer. The Team Observer keeps records of the team's processes and uses the information that is gathered to evaluate the team's procedures. In this example, the goal of our "team" is to succeed as a family, is it not? My dad, as the Team Observer, is an integral part of the goal. He is more of a silent observer in the family. He doesn't speak up as much as some of the rest of us, however, when he does, it is often profound. He helps to get the family back on track and see the big picture of somethings and believe me, we need that sometimes.
4. Steph- My mommy is the Coordinator. The Coordinator clarifies a relationship among facts, ideas etc., or suggests an integration of ideas and activities of two or more members. Even though my mom doesn't necessarily come up with the new ideas herself, she is an essential part of getting those plans off the ground. Without her, we would just have a bunch of big ideas and would almost never actually accomplish them.
5. Blythe- My aunt Blythe is the Information Giver. The Information Giver is defined as a person who offers information and opinions about different facts due to their own personal experiences and evidence. Blythe is always the first to help answer questions that anyone in the family has and is always more than willing to help out or give her opinions on something if asked.
6. Andy- My uncle Andy is the Initiator. The Initiator proposes new ideas, methods and solutions. One experience that really stuck out in my head when assigning Andy this role was a few months ago. Andy was growing more and more unhappy with the fact that all our family ever seemed to do on weekends was sit around and watch T.V. Instead of complaining about it, he thought up new ideas for things for us to do (i.e.~park day, ddr, fro-yo etc.). Without him, we would still be sitting on the couch!
7. Peggy- My aunt Peggy is, I believe, the connector piece holding our entire family together. She is the epitome of a Gatekeeper. The Gatekeeper opens the channels if communication, brings in nonparticipants and helps others get their chance to effect the group. One bit of this I can share is the fact that she is always the person we can call for information. She seems to know everyone schedules including where they are going to be a certain times. She also is the first one to involve people outside of the immediate grouping. I honestly think that if Peggy wasn't around, our familial group might fall apart.
8. Paul- My uncle Paul is the Standard Setter. Now, I know my family well enough to know that when this blog gets posted, Paul may not agree with what I write about him, however, I think it is all true and completely my opinion. Anyways, the Standard Setter is defined as the one who helps sets the standards and goals for the team. The way that I interpret that pertains to Paul's generosity and willingness to help others. This may be a surprise to some people but if there was one person I could learn from in personality traits, it would be Paul and I'm sure that others probably feel the same why. Hence why he's the Standard Setter for the group or the person who places the bar that we strive to achieve. I know that Paul would give the shirt off his back if one of us needed it and I want to evolve to be just like that.
9. Ben- My uncle Ben is the other side of the same coin to his wife Blythe. While Blythe is the Information Giver, Ben is the Information Seeker. The Information Seeker asks for facts, clarification or information in order to help the group think outside of the box. I think this is totally true with Ben. Ben is always in search of new things to learn and new bits of knowledge and is really good at thinking outside of the box and I really respect that.
10. Michael- My uncle Michael is the Follower. I know what you're thinking. Follower? That is uber lame! It really isn't though! The Follower basically goes along with the suggestions and ideas of the other group members and serves as an audience in team discussions and decision making. Michael is a very go-with-the-flow guy, cool as a cucumber and nothing seems to really bother him. That is so helpful because some of us, myself included, are a bit of a stronger personality and without someone to balance us out we quite possibly could have killed each other by now! What would we do with out him?
11. Beka- That's Me!!!! I am totally categorized as the Energizer! The Energizer prods the group to greater activity or to a decision, stimulates activity or warns of the need to act while there is still time. I am always energetic and ready to go, wanting to do everything I can, as soon as I can and I think that often that rubs off on the rest of the family. I think part of the reason that the family often responds to my energy is that because I am still young, my youthful excitement and joyful exuberance remind others of a time that they felt that way as well.
12. MerriJo- My aunt MerriJo, as insanely busy as she is, is totally the Compromiser. The Compromiser attempts to resolve conflicts by trying to find an acceptable solution to disagreements among team members, or in this case, family members. MerriJo is exceptional at hearing two sides of an issue, synergyzing (or compacting) the information and paraphrasing it back to the parties involved. She, then, helps the involved people see both points of view. I don't think I can count how many times I have been in a negative place about something and ranted or raved to her. Merri always has me leaving the conversation in a much better place then when I started.
13. Elias, Katy and Christopher- These three, even though they are young, have an important role to play that they can share, at least for the time being. These are our own little baby Tension Relievers. A Tension Reliever reduces formality and status difference making people relax and see the humor in a situation. The second that Elias says a baby funny (i.e.-"google it", "Mommy is a lion....ROAR" or "Melmo, Melmo, Melmo" etc.), Katy claps her little hands or Christopher flashes that winning smile of his, any situation, however heated, is immediately defused. And honestly, that is all our little family group needs them to fulfill right now. Which is good, since they seem to be more than happy to oblige.

In writing this blog, and believe me, this took me a good three days to finish, I came to three realizations. Number 1, everyone in our family, no matter how often they are around have a different role to play that we now subconsciously expect from them. Number 2, the roles that I assigned are as of 6/21/09. Who's to say that the roles will be the same 6/21/10 or even 12/21/09? Finally, number 3, and possibly the most important is that none of these roles are more important than the others. All of these roles have different aspects of them that I can learn from and need to learn from to become a better and more well-rounded human being. And really, at age 17, that's all I can hope for.